Civil Blood Makes Civil Hands Unclean
by Whatthef-stop
Summary: AU: Blaine Anderson is a piano teacher from New York who comes to Ohio to teach Kurt Hummel how to play. The two fall in love but have to face the realities of their time and affects of the Civil War.
1. The Piano Teacher

A/N: I'm just posting this to see what kind of response it gets and if I'm going to continue posting it. I have about 3-4 chapters written out and am working on it but it's slow going. If people are interested in it though I'll post chapters when I have them.

The year is 1860 and Blaine Anderson has left his family out on the east coast to come and tutor a young man in music. He is hesitating at the front gates looking up towards the Stick Anne style house that waits beyond a fair sized lawn and a small garden. Blaine suspects that there is a larger vegetable garden in the back. On the left side of the house there is a tower toped with a dome. The rest of the front of the two story house is filled with porch. It's a very fine house, but that was what Blaine should have expected. After all, the Hummel family had the money to bring him out from the east coast to teach their son, Kurt, music.

Blaine was nervous. He had come all this way, but what if Kurt and he didn't get along? He was so far away from his family and he didn't know anyone in Ohio. Swallowing down his fear, Blaine straightened and walked towards the Hummel home. He would make this work and show his father that he could make a living with his music.

The door was answered by a dark skinned woman who couldn't have been older than sixteen. She smiled though and held the door open for him.

"You must be ." The maid smiled and took one of Blaine's bags him.

"Yes, I am."

"I'll show you to your room."

Blaine followed the maid inside off of the veranda, through the vestibule, into the hall and up a flight of stairs. At the top of the stairs, they took a left and a few feet more they made another left in a small bedroom. Much smaller than Blaine was used to, but he would make it work. He could be happy in this room. The windows at least made it bright.

The maid left him there to put away his things, but she promised to be back with water he could clean up with and then she would bring him downstairs to meet the family. Blaine nodded, because he felt a little overwhelmed. He had been traveling for several days on end just to get here, and traveling always made him a little sick. But he supposed that it was only proper to go meet the people who would be working for and the boy he would be teaching.

After Blaine had all of his clothes in the closet, the maid came back with a basin of water and some cloths for Blaine to scrub up with. She set them down on the desk and left without saying a word.

Washed, changed, and waiting for the maid to come back to get him, Blaine looked at the room. On the wall furthest from the door, there was a door leading out onto the upper veranda. The desk looked out onto the side yard.

"?" The maid asked from the doorway. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." He whirled around. The maid had surprised him.

"Dinner is ready then."

He followed her down the stairs and across the hall into the dining room. There was a large, oval table surrounded by eight high backed chairs. Four of the chairs were occupied. At the head of the table, a middle aged man who had lost most of his hair sat looking at Blaine as if he could tell just what kind of person Blaine was before he had even opened his mouth. The man must have been Burt Hummel, the man who had written him about teaching his son. To 's right sat a woman with warm brown hair and kind eyes. Obviously, . On 's other side there sat a lanky young man. To the young man's left, there sat another boy, who was shorter than his brother.

'Oh.' Blaine thought. 'He is quite lovely.' His heart fluttered as the boy looked up with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen.

"You must be ." smiled at him. "Please, sit down." She gestured to the seat next to her.

"Thank you." Blaine smiled as he took the seat. "You have a lovely home."

"Thank you. Kurt helped with most of it." The boy across from him blushed high on his cheeks.

"He has done a good job." Blaine smiled at Kurt, pleased that this was the boy he was tutoring, and not the lanky boy to Kurt's right.

"Thank you, ."

The rest of dinner went on in a similar fashion the family and Blaine making polite small talk. Blaine was pleased to find that the food was good and he wouldn't be missing the cooking from home when he got home sick.

", would you play for us now that you've been fed and watered?" Mrs. Hummel asked

"Of course." He smiled at her. "I'm sure you want to know if I am as good as I said I am."

"I am interested in your skill." Kurt said from across the table, almost sounding doubtful. Blaine smiled, he would just have to prove him wrong.

The group moved from dining room into the parlor. The Hummel family sat themselves on the furniture while Blaine sat himself at the piano. Stretching out his fingers, he tried to decide what he should play. Deciding on one of the songs he had learned from one of the first song books his mother had bought him.

Blaine took a deep breath and started to play. He closed his eyes to bring up the music in his head. This was one of the first songs he had learned that was more difficult than the practice pieces his own piano teacher had drilled into him.

"That was wonderful." breathed as Blaine let the final chord ring in the air. "Who was the composer?"

"Vivaldi." Blaine twisted on the bench so he could see his audience. "He was a french composer."

"It was well played." Kurt smiled brightly. "I am glad I will have such a wonderful teacher."

"I am glad to have such an eager student." Blaine smiled back.

He played a few more pieces for the family before he was yawning. Excusing himself from the parlor, Blaine went up to bed. It had been a very long day for him, so he left the Hummels downstairs to talk amongst themselves, knowing that his playing would most likely be their topic.

The next morning, Blaine woke up to the sun shining in his window. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Blaine got out of bed and began to get ready for the day. There was a knock on his door just as he was slicking back his hair.

"One moment." Blaine called as he set his comb down on the desk and moved to open the door. Kurt was standing outside. "Can I help you?"

"Carol asked me to come get you for breakfast." Kurt looked at his shoes. "Mercedes is in the middle of cooking."

"I will be right down." Blaine smiled, oddly proud that he had made his beautiful student bashful.

The breakfast table was quiet. There were a bits of small talk, but nothing of consequence. Finn, the lanky boy, was going to call on Ms. Rachel Berry that afternoon. commented how quickly Quinn Fabray and Noah Puckerman seemed to be moving.

"Quinn is most likely with child." Kurt said from where he was moving his breakfast around his plate.

"Kurt" gasped. "What a thing to say."

"Quinn has never shown any interest in Noah before, and suddenly she is running down the aisle to him?" Kurt rolled his eyes and he handed Mercedes his plate,half of his breakfast still on it. "I will be in the parlor, , when you want to start my lesson." Kurt said as he got up from the table.

"I am sorry, ." spoke from the head of the table. "Kurt gets into these moods."

"I am sure it is nothing that I cannot handle." Blaine sat in his chair for a moment before he stood. "Perhaps it is time for a music lesson."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." smiled as Blaine retreated into the parlor.

Kurt was sitting at the piano when Blaine walked into the room. "Are you ready for your lesson?" He asked.

"I am sorry for my out burst." Kurt said more to the piano than to Blaine. "I should not have said that about Quinn."

"It's quiet alright." Blaine sat down next to Kurt on the piano bench. "Now, where shall we begin?"

"I know my scales." Kurt pressed a key on the piano. "My mother taught me before she died."

Blaine wanted to comment on the fact Kurt had just given him, but he had a feeling that the boy was never this open on purpose. "Show me which ones you remember."

Kurt nodded and began to play. They spent the rest of the morning practicing scales. As the morning wore on, Kurt's mood seemed to get better and better, by the time the two of them sat down to lunch he seemed almost content. was visiting one her friends, was overseeing his shop, and Finn was visiting .

"I really am sorry about my mood this morning." Kurt said as Mercedes set lunch down in front of them. "I do try not to be such a..." Kurt searched for the right word.

"I assure you, it was really no bother."

"Still, I have behaved horribly."

"I must admit," Blaine leaned closer to Kurt. "it is good to know I will have someone like my sister around. I was worried that I was going to miss her horribly."

"You have a sister?" Kurt was eager to learn about his new tutor. If he was being honest with himself he found the man to be extremely attractive.

"I have two younger siblings. A sister, Ophelia, and a brother, Thomas."

"Much younger?"

"No, Ophelia is a year younger than me and Thomas is three years younger than me. How far apart are you and Finn?"

"Finn is six months older than me, and he never lets me forget it." Kurt huffed.

"Six months?" Blaine realized that the question had slipped out and ducked his head. "I apologize, that was rude of me to ask. It is none of my business."

"Finn and I are step brothers. My mother died when I was small. My father and Carol were married a year ago."

"You did mention that." Blaine felt silly for having forgot.

"I forget that you are new here and do not know the entire story. Everyone in this town knows and so I do not do a very good job of telling the story to strangers."

"You do not have to tell me anything, Kurt. I am your piano tutor." Blaine shrugged.

"But it would be nice to be friends, would it not?" Kurt smiled.

"Of course. It would be nice to have friends in town."

"So," Kurt said as he stood from the table and began to collect the dishes. "Are we going to continue with scales or would you rather do something else?"

"We can continue on the piano if you'd like." Blaine smiled at Kurt's enthusiasm. Now he felt silly for fearing that he was going to get a bratty child who's parents were forcing them to learn.

Kurt smiled and hurried to go deposit the dishes in the kitchen. Blaine went into the parlor and sat down on the piano bench and opened the book of simple songs that were not very far off from the scales that Kurt had been playing all morning. When Kurt sat next to him on the bench, Blaine asked him to play the first song in the book.

Kurt nodded, brushed his bangs from his eyes, and began. It was clumsy, but Kurt managed to get through it without too much trouble. The spent the next hour playing through the next five songs in the beginner's book. When they had gone over them several time each, Blaine got off the bench and stretched up onto his toes.

"I think we've done enough learning for one day." He smiled down at Kurt. "But if you want to keep practicing those five songs and your scales, that is what we will be working on tomorrow."

"Alright." Kurt nodded. "I'll work on them." He was not going to say it in front of Blaine, but he was embarrassed about his playing. Even more after he had heard how beautifully Blaine had played after last night. Kurt sat on the bench and waited until he heard Blaine climb the stairs before he started working on the songs that Blaine had said that they would be working on tomorrow. He was going to be able to play them at least with minimal grace before tomorrow. Also, he hoped to be able practice a few other songs in the book so he would be able to impress Blaine the next day.

As Kurt practiced his songs, Blaine sat down at the small desk in his room and pulled out his stationary. He could barely hear Kurt at the piano downstairs and he smiled as he started a letter to his family. His mother had told him when he left that she expected a letter every week so she knew that he was alright.

The next day, Blaine was impressed with the progress Kurt had made. By the end of the day, he could respectable play one of the five little exercises from the book and play most of his scales. Blaine was proud of his student.

By the end of the month, Kurt was steadily making his way through the book of simple songs and Blaine was starting him on a simple hymn. Kurt stumbled all the way through it. Smiling, Blaine marked out a couple of the easier sections for Kurt to work on.

As the two men sat at the piano bench, they also became friends. Every day Blaine became more and more impressed with the young man. And as he became more and more impressed with the young man, he fell more and more in love with Kurt. Which became more and more difficult not to act on. It would have been so easy to sit just a little closer, have their hands brush over the keys, or have their knees knock, but Blaine knew that this could quickly wear out his welcome in the Hummel house.

As Kurt sat at the piano downstairs working out some of the phrases in the hymn they were working on, Blaine sat at the little desk in his room and wrote a letter to his sister.

Ophelia,

I am glad to report that I have safely arrived in Lima, Ohio. The Hummels are all very nice, but I have already told you all that in my letter to Mama and father, which I am sure Mama will insist on reading to all of you around the dinner table. I am not writing to you to tell you the niceties of my first days here. I am writing to you tell you about Kurt. He is the young man I am teaching to play piano. He is lovely. Actually, he reminds me of you a little bit, which is a relief because the one thing that worried me the most about moving to Ohio was that I was going to miss you terribly. Not that I am not going to miss you, because you are still my best friend.

I had to say something about Kurt to someone, and you are the only one who knows. The only one who can know. If I do not say anything, even if it is just writing it down in a letter, I am afraid my mouth will run away with me. We do spend a lot of time alone together during the day, sitting close to each other on the piano bench and talking. Once Kurt starts talking about something he is passionate about it takes him over. His fingers are perfect for playing the piano, long and delicate, but they still clearly belong to a man. Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to have them twined in between mine. I know it is silly to wonder, but I cannot help it. The way he dresses does not help. I think that he wears all of his clothes as if he were trying to wear a second skin. His clothes make me think of things much more primal thoughts that holding his hands. I believe that he is more interested in fashion than Mama is. Sometimes he sits in the den and looks Godey's Lady's Book, though he tries to hide it.

I am afraid to write too much of how I feel and I fear that I have said too much. Not that I am afraid that you will think that you would ever tell anyone, but I know Mama does not always look at the name on the letter or does not care that it clearly says your name on the letter. In her mind, there is nothing that I would want to tell you that she could not know as well. But this is such a thing, not that she would ever even consider such a thing, but I would not want her and Father to think that I am a blight on the Anderson name.

This is the part of the letter where I am going to beg you to write me more often because I need something to keep my thoughts from Kurt Hummel and writing sonnets about his eyes. See this sorry state I am in? So please, dear sister, take time from your busy social life and write your pitiful brother. I should also apologize for how terribly written this letter is, so I apologize.

Love,

Blaine.


	2. Advice

A/N: I meant to get this out faster but life got crazy. Hopefully, in the future I can get a chapter out every two weeks. Feed back is appreciated, especially if the letters need to by formated better.

Blaine folded his letter and sealed it, intending to take it to the postal office first thing tomorrow while Kurt was still warming up for their lesson. Lately, Blaine had been letting Kurt do that on his own.

After finishing with his letter, Blaine went downstairs to eat dinner with the Hummel family. Mercedes brought out the plates just as Blaine was sitting down and Carol was already in the middle of a story she had heard from one of her friends this afternoon.

"Hattie says and are rushing their way down the aisle. Apparently they were in to see her husband this afternoon and they asked him when the next date was available for a wedding."

"I know." Finn smiled. "Puck has already asked me to be his best man."

"What did you tell him about that?" Carol's voice was tight. She did not seem as excited over the prospect as Finn did.

"I told him I would have to think it over." Finn mumbled into the plate.

"Good." Carol looked at Burt, who shrugged and looked at Finn and shrugged again. "But I guess that you could tell Noah yes." Finn beamed up as his mother at the news.

"I told you she was pregnant." Kurt muttered into his food. Carol shot him a look that told Blaine that she had heard him. Blaine smothered a smile behind his napkin. "At least they're getting married before she's showing, and hopefully the baby will be small."

"Kurt!" Carol's voice was firm. "That's a terrible thing to hope. You put it in your prayers that that baby is born healthy."

"I was just saying if the baby was born small they could tell everyone that he came early." Kurt shrugged. "And he wouldn't have to be too little."

"That is enough, Kurt." Burt said from the head of the table.

Carol quickly changed the subject to more neutral ground and the rest of dinner passed smoothly.

The next morning, Blaine mailed his letter and then sat down at the piano bench to practice with Kurt like he did everyday. Writing to his sister alone was not going to help him get over his feelings for Kurt. All he could do was wait for his sister's letter and hopefully her advice on the matter.

Blaine waited for three weeks for his sister's reply, hoping that she would give him some sort of advice on how to nip his feelings in the bud. If he was hoping for some sort of magical cure for his interest in his pupil, he was going to be disappointed.

Blaine,

You have terrible handwriting. Mama told you to work on that. I hope your letters to her are in your good handwriting and not the chicken scratch that you wrote to me in.

Everyone in New York is doing well. Johnny asked me to tell you that he says hello, and you should write to him as well. I was not sure if I should give him the Hummel's address so I told him I would let you sort it out.

Thomas is doing well in school. So well that he has not had time to write you, so I am doing it for him. He would tell you that he is practicing piano every day and his violin when he has time. Mama makes sure it is at least three times a week. Thomas complains about it, I think because he is not as talented as you, but Mama really does like when we all sit down and play together. Thomas is struggling with his math, which is why he is not writing. Mama and he are sitting at the kitchen table working on his sums.

I am doing well as well, thank you for asking. Johnny has asked Papa for permission to court me. I think he was going to say no, but Mama gave him one of her looks. So, he has started taking me out Saturday evenings, though I have to be home long before anyone else does. Even Jenny's father lets her stay out later with her beau later that Papa lets me stay out.

About Kurt. Blaine, I am shocked that you would even write me about that. Usually you prefer to pretend that you are not attracted to men even though you know I love you all the same. My advice, which is what you wrote me for, would to find out if Kurt perhaps shares your inclinations. Do not push away love because you are scared, Blaine. The entire country is falling apart and you are acting like you have the biggest problem in the world. Courage, dear brother, courage.

Love,

Ophelia

Blaine held the letter in his hands in disbelief. That had to be the worst advice Blaine had ever heard in his life. Courage? That is what Ophelia thought would be the solution to his problem? He flopped into his desk chair and pulled out a piece of paper.

That is the worst advice I have ever heard.

He didn't even bother to sign his name, he jammed it the letter he was sending to his parents and sealed everything together. Blaine left the letter on his desk as he went down to have lunch with Kurt.

The two sat quietly around the table and Blaine picked at his food. Kurt noticed something was wrong with his friend.

"Blaine?" He asked softly. "Is something wrong? Was there something in your sister's letter?"

"Nothing is wrong." Blaine sighed. "Ophelia wrote that she's being courted and my father is making sure she does not spent too much time alone with him. She hinted that she believes that it is my fault."

Kurt laughed. "How could it be your fault? You are all the way in Ohio." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Did you give your father a reason not to trust young men?"

Blaine blushed. "No. I did not go out very much."

Kurt leaned back, shocked. "I do not believe that."

"It is true. Most young women were not interested in me."

"I will not believe that." Kurt crossed his arms stubbornly.

"It is true." Blaine laughed. "My mother is Irish."

"That seems a shallow reason."

"People do not like the Irish." Blaine shrugged. "It was enough reason to keep my dance card empty."

"Your sister seems to have someone asking to be on her dance card." Kurt knew it was rude. He really did, but he was curious. Why were boys chasing after Blaine's sister, who he was told looked very similar to Blaine, but the young women deemed Blaine not good enough.

"He is Irish. In fact, he is my best friend." Blaine leaned back in his chair. "Johnny and I have been since we were little."

"Your sister is being courted by your best friend?" Kurt's eyes widened. "How do _you_ feel about this?"

Blaine laughed. "I do not mind. Mama told me when I was ten that they would end up married. I like to think that I have already put the fear of God into him if he ever hurts my sister."

Kurt laughed. "I cannot imagine you roughhousing." Kurt looked at Blaine, short and compact. He was well muscled, Kurt had noticed how his shirts outlined his frame, but he seemed more at home on a piano bench than in a boxing ring.

"I will have you know that I can hold my own." Blaine puffed out his chest. Kurt struggled to keep the smile off of his face. "Do not give me that look, Mr. Hummel." Blaine huffed. "You sound like my sister." He grumbled.

"I think I would like to meet your sister." Kurt smiled. "Perhaps she would be better suited to putting the fear of God into people."

"And who," Blaine leaned forward to catch Kurt's eyes. "Would you need to have the fear of God in them?"

Kurt hung his head and avoided Blaine's eyes. He did not need to know what people said about Kurt, though Kurt was surprised that Blaine had not guess. He did know that Kurt had helped Carol decorate the house and he must have noticed the way that Kurt dressed. "There are people who think I am not enough of a man." Kurt muttered.

Blaine's sight went red with rage. He might not have been a fighter, but he did want to hurt the people who had been speaking ill about Kurt. He wondered how anyone could think anything negative about Kurt? Kurt speaking pulled Blaine out of his thoughts.

"Do you think she would mind?"

"Would who mind?"

"Your sister." Kurt gave him a look but did not mention the fact the Blaine had not been listening. "Do you think she would mind if I wrote her? I think I would like her very much."

"No, I do not think Ophelia would mind. I will put it in my next letter that you would like to write her." Kurt smiled. Blaine kept a frown from his face. Was it possible that Kurt was interested in his sister from his description of her? Even though Blaine had talked about Johnny? A thought lit in Blaine's mind. When he had first described his sister to Kurt, he had mentioned that Ophelia and he both took after their mother. If Kurt thought that he would find his sister attractive, there was a possibility that he could find Blaine attractive.

After their afternoon lesson, Blaine went back to his desk and reopened the letter he had written to his parents and pulled out the letter he had written to Ophelia. He crumpled it up and tossed it aside and began a new letter to Ophelia.

Sister,

I think perhaps your advice is not so bad. If I just wait it out, maybe Kurt will share my inclinations. I was going to tell you that you had given me the worst advice I had ever read, and that it was not worth the three weeks wait I had.

Kurt asked if he could write to you. He thinks that you two would get along. I told him that I would ask you in my next letter. You should not feel like you have to write him because I have feelings for him, or feel like I do not want you to write him because I have feelings for him. I do not know how I feel about him writing you. You should ask how Johnny feels though, not that you are going to start courting Kurt Hummel long distance while you have Johnny at home. But he should know that you are writing another man.

Is it silly that I am worried that Kurt will like you more than he likes me? I feel like it is, because he does not know you. But I also know that you are very charming and could win him over through letters even though you are all the way in New York. Also, I know you would never decide to pursue someone that I am interested in.

I am sorry that this letter is just as bad as my last one. Kurt seems to have taken all of the eloquence out of me. It does seem to be getting worse as well. Today Kurt told me that there are people in Lima that do not think that he is 'enough of a man' and I saw red. I was literally so angry that I stopped listening to what Kurt said and thought of ways I could hurt these people and I do not even know who they are.

Also, I am sorry that all of my letters to you seem to be centered around Kurt, but you are the only one I can tell. You are a good sister for putting up with me. I have to go take this letter down to the post office so that in a few weeks time I can read your newest piece of advice. Perhaps you could also advise me on my thoughts of buying a house in Lima as well.

Love,

Blaine.

Blaine waited patiently for his sister's next letter. He spent his time with Kurt at the piano and going out into town. The Hummels had offered to have Mercedes do his personal shopping, but Blaine had declined. He would never get out of the house if he did not do his own shopping.

At the market, Blaine had been taken under the wings of a few of the older women who did their shopping at the general store. They thought that it was their job to inform the young man on the running of the town and all of the town gossip that he would not know having not lived in Lima most of his life. Blaine was too polite to tell them that he was not much interested in their gossip and he did enjoy talking to someone outside of the Hummel household, not that he did not enjoy their company, but he was going to have to make more friends if he was going to make his life here.

The more Blaine considered it, the more and more he was thinking about putting roots down in Lima. He could move out of the Hummel house and teach music to support himself. He could always ask his father for a loan if he really needed it, and if he needed to Ophelia could always persuade him. He did not want to consider the greatest factor in his decision being this is where Kurt was.

When Blaine finally convinced and that he really did need to get back he walked back to the Hummel house. When he walked into the house, Blaine could hear Kurt and Mercedes speaking in the parlor. Kurt sounded embarrassed and he protested to whatever Mercedes had just told him.

He did not mean to make so much noise as he made his way to the stairs, but his parcels knocked against the banister and Kurt poked his head out of the parlor.

"Blaine!" He seemed surprised to see the man. "I did not think you would be back so soon." Kurt's face was flushed.

"Would you like me to leave?" Blaine asked as Mercedes hurried from the parlor and into the kitchen.

"No!" Kurt shook his head. "But usually will not let you leave until she has told you ever bit of gossip she has ever head in her life."

"Are you feeling well, Kurt?" Blaine made a step towards the younger man. "You look like you are running a fever."

Kurt's hand flew to his cheek. "I feel fine." His voice climbed in pitch.

"Alright then." Blaine gave the man one last look and then went up to his room to put his things away.

Soon a letter from Ophelia came in the mail. Blaine tucked it into his jacket as he sat down at the piano with Kurt.

"A letter from your sister?" Kurt asked as he opened the book of hymns that they had been playing from.

"Yes, and you can call her Ophelia." Blaine smiled. "I am sure she would give you permission."

"You can read your letter before we begin if you want." Kurt knew how much Blaine missed his family.

"It will only take a minute." Blaine said as he got up from the piano bench and went into the dinning room to read his letter.

Blaine,

This is going to be a short letter, I have to rush so Mama can send it with Thomas as he is headed down that way. I have been struggling with what to tell you about Kurt. I do not want you to get your hopes up, but I do not want you to count yourself out either. My advice is to let things play out as God meant them to. Kurt seems like a very nice young man.

And of course he can write me. Johnny has no problem with me writing either. I did ask as you instructed and I was told that you were being over cautious and that you should expect a letter from him soon.

You will have to ask Papa and Mama about the house, I am not so wise on property as I am wise on the ways of the heart.

Your sister,

Ophelia.

Blaine tucked the letter back into his jacket and went back into the parlor with Kurt. Kurt had stopped playing and was looking at him expectedly. "I know you want to tell me what Ophelia said in your letter so do not make me pry about it." Kurt said as he twisted to face Blaine on the bench.

"She says you can write her, though you should probably address the letters to Anderson. Mama does have a bad habit of sometimes opening the family mail without looking to see who it is addressed to and she does think that there should be some decorum."

"Your mother reads your letters?" Kurt seemed shocked.

"She does not mean to, and she usually does not read them all the way through. She just...forgets that her children are now old enough to receive their own letters."

"Oh." Kurt seemed amused by Blaine's mother.

"Perhaps I should ask for her to write you too. She would love you."

"Perhaps I should just set up correspondence with your entire family." Kurt laughed.

"Only my mother and sister, my father and brother would not share many of your interests."

"And what interests would I share with your mother?"

Blaine blushed. He had been trying to keep his observations of the younger man to himself, but now he had cornered himself into telling Kurt. "I have seen you reading Godey's Lady's book. My mother is an accomplished seamstress" Both men were quiet for a minute and then Blaine suggested that they begin their lesson.


	3. Christmas

Blaine,

Merry Christmas. It is strange to not have you here for the Christmas season. Thomas and I are taking bets on weather or not Mama will make too much food. I think she will forget and make way too much food, because she knows that you must have a hallow leg to eat so much.

I sent presents along with Mama and Papa's. They are small, but there is also gifts for the Hummels. I do believe that they deserve something for putting up with you for half a year.

I believe that Mama is going to send a fruitcake, and I am sorry. She has gotten better at making them, but I wish she would give up on them. They still sit like bricks in ones stomach.

Johnny says he sent you a Christmas letter as well. I have had to be on him constantly to get it done and I practically had to write it myself. He has been working all the time trying to save up for our future. Please do not tell Papa. Johnny has not asked me to marry him yet, but he knows what Papa would tell him if he asked now. So he has been working as hard as he possibly can to save up money. I put the stamp on the letter myself so it should be in Lima a few days after you receive my letter.

I know I should make my letters to you longer, but I know that Mama makes sure to cover all of the important social and political news in her letters and I do not want to bore you to death. Though things are getting a little tense out here. Papa says that President Lincoln will declare war on the South. I pray it does not happen because if it does I worry that all of the young Irish men will end up in the army.

But enough of my worrying about things that are up to God, let us talk about Kurt. It is Christmas, perhaps you could catch him under the mistletoe. It would be a good excuse to kiss him. Now that I am sure that I have made you blush, hopefully in front of our dear , I am going to end this letter.

Happy Holidays,

Ophelia

Ophelia,

You are not as funny as you think you are. Do you not think would throw me from his house if he caught me making any sort of romantic advance towards his son, mistletoe or not? Besides, I am sure that Kurt is having a flirtation with Mercedes. Sometimes when I come back from the shops more quickly than Kurt expects I hear them giggling together in the parlor. Perhaps I should try and put those two under the mistletoe.

I knew that Johnny was working towards asking you to marry him. He told me in his last letter. He does not write as much as you and Mama but he does write. And I am still his best friend so Johnny does tell me these things. He also asked for my blessing. Perhaps Johnny is confused, as he is prone to be, but should he not be asking Papa and not me. Ophelia, before you start panicking I should tell you that I told him I had no problem with it. I did leave out the fact that as children we were both infatuated with him, and I would be grateful if he never learned that fact.

I also thought I should let you know that Papa thinks it is a good idea for me to buy a house out here. He says that if I am serious about making money by giving music lessons I should have a place where I can teach more pupils than Kurt. He even said that if I needed, he could loan me the money until I had the business going. Perhaps when I have a house of my own in Ohio you could come and visit. I do miss you even though I am making friends in Lima. Writing letters is not the same as having you. When I have decided on a house, I will write you and tell you when I am settled so you can come see me.

Happy Holidays,

Blaine.

Blaine took the package that had come with the letter from his family downstairs to put under the tree with the rest of the gifts. Christmas was only a few days away and Blaine was glad that he had sent his own gifts for his family already. His mother seemed to be having a hard enough time not having him home for the holidays.

"Blaine, what did you put under the tree?" Kurt asked as Blaine sat down at the table. Carol looked appalled that Kurt had asked.

"Ophelia sent gifts." Blaine did not mind that Kurt was forward. "And I think Mama sent a fruit cake." He cringed. "I apologize in advance for it."

"I am sure it is lovely." Carol smiled.

"I am afraid it is not. She tried every year and it is still awful." Blaine laughed.

"It was nice of her to send one anyway." Carol smiled.

The rest of dinner passed in polite conversation. In fact, the next couple of days passed quickly as the Hummel household got ready for the party they threw every Christmas eve.

That day, Blaine helped Kurt decorate the house as Carol was busy in the kitchen with Mercedes, and Finn and Burt were out cutting fire wood. While hanging decorations, Blaine learned something new about Kurt. He was extremely particular on the placement of his decorations.

"Blaine." Kurt groaned as Blaine picked up his next ornament. "That cannot go there."

"Why?" He looked at the bauble in his hand.

"Because." Kurt but his hands on his hips. "It does not fit in with the color scheme I am going for."

"It is white." Blaine said as if this explained what he had been thinking.

"And this is the green and red room." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Go put that up in the dinning room."

"Alright." Blaine shrugged and went to go put it up in the other room. "Whatever you want."

"Do not get smart with me." Kurt called after him. "I will not let you ruin my vision because you are too lazy to walk into another room."

"It is fine, Kurt." Blaine shrugged. "I do not understand why, but it is your home."

"It is yours too." Kurt looked up at him. "In Lima, at least." He quickly tacked on to the end.

"I had been considering settling down here." Blaine admits as he helps Kurt finish hanging the decorations in the parlor. "Buying a house and offering to teach piano."

"Buying a house?" Kurt seemed shocked.

"Unless you think it is a silly idea." Blaine ducked his head. "I have not looked that far into it. For all I know Lima could already have a piano teacher."

"It does not." Kurt assured him. "I was just surprised that you were considering moving here. I was under the impression that you had to planned to go back to New York after you were done teaching me."

"There are a million piano teachers in New York." Blaine shrugged.

Kurt smiled. "We are very lucky to have you."

"I am glad that you would not mind putting up with me."

"You would have to promise to call. I think I would miss you quite terribly if I did not see you."

"I promise I will continue to visit." Blaine laughed.

"Are you going somewhere, dear?" Carol asked from the doorway, only hearing the last portion of the conversation.

"I was thinking about buying a house in Lima. Offering piano lessons."

"That would be lovely." Carol smiled. "Not that we do not like having you here, but I do know that you could be teaching a lot more people if you had a place of your own." She smiled and then turned to Kurt. "Come help me hang this mistletoe."

"I will be right there." Kurt smiled at Carol and finished hanging the bauble in his hand and then went out into the hall.

Blaine had gone pale when Carol had held up the mistletoe. His sister's letter was fresh in his mind and he was worried that he might subconsciously find Kurt there. Later, when Kurt and Carol were finishing up in the dinning room, Blaine would go and mark the place the mistletoe so he could avoid it through the night.

People started to arrive in groups of twos and threes. Blaine knew most of the people by name, but only a few by face. It seemed that the Hummels had invited the entire town and most of them were going to show up tonight.

Blaine had been cornered by , the girl that Finn had been courting. She was talking about how wonderful her voice was and how she would have to sing for him later.

"And you can play the piano for accompaniment!" Rachel beamed at Blaine. "I have not met anyone yet who could keep up with me here in Lima."

"Alright." Blaine nodded. "I would be happy to accompany you, ."

Rachel smiled and then saw Finn across the room. "I am going to go talk with Finn." She smiled. "He is courting me you know."

"I had heard that." Blaine smiled tightly. "It was nice talking with you, ."

Kurt smiled at the blonde he was talking to, touched her elbow, and then made his way over to Blaine. He had to stop to a few different people on his way over, but eventually he was leaning against the piano next to Blaine.

"Enjoying the party?" Kurt smiled.

"It is nice." Blaine smiled back.

"I see that was talking to you."

"Yes, She really is... enthusiastic."

"Enthusiastic is one word for it." Kurt whispered. "And I could think of a couple other not so polite words to call it too."

Blaine laughed. "You might want to wait until there are not so many people around to hear you say them." He whispered back.

"Then I will have to tell you when we are cleaning up and Finn disappears."

"Do you think will really have me accompany her?" Blaine looked at the large number of people loitering around the Hummel house.

"Undoubtably." Kurt laughed. "Hopefully she will pick a short carol."

"Hopefully." Blaine sighed. He was suddenly tired and wished he could go to bed without having to walk under the mistletoe.

Rachel did make Blaine play the piano while she sang. To her credit she sang very well, but she did not seem to know when enough was enough.

"You do play wonderfully." She told Blaine when they were done and most people were filling out of the Hummel house.

"Thanks you, ." Blaine ducked his head to hide his annoyance.

"Perhaps you could teach me when Kurt is done being selfish."

"Perhaps." Blaine was not sure he wanted to agree to that.

Rachel was the last person to leave. Finn left with her under the guise of making sure that she arrived home without trouble, but Kurt had whispered that it was really so he could sneak a few kisses in without chaperones into Blaine's ear. Blaine sat on the piano bench with the cover over the keys. Mr. And Mrs. Hummel had gone to bed after all of their guests had left.

Kurt sat down next to Blaine. "Did you have fun tonight?" He asked.

"It was very nice." Blaine smiled softly at the younger man.

"I am glad. I know we cannot replace your family, but hopefully we dulled the ache a little."

"You did." Blaine leaned over and bumped Kurt's shoulder. "I think it will be harder tomorrow, but I am sure will not let me have a moment to think about it."

Kurt laughed. "She is good at that is she not?"

"Very good at it."

"I think that is why I did not mind so much when my Father married her. She told me that she could not and did not want to replace my mother, but she hoped that we could be friends. Of course, I was seventeen when they got married, so I did not need Carol to help raise me."

"She really is a wonderful woman." Blaine agreed.

The clock struck one. Both Kurt and Blaine started at the noise and the lateness of the hour. "I did not realize it was so late." Kurt muttered. "We should go to bed. Finn will want the whole house up early for Christmas."

"Finn does strike me as that kind of man." Blaine laughed and stood up from the piano bench. "Shall we?" He smiled and offered Kurt his arm. It was hard for Blaine to restrain himself from flirting with Kurt when they were alone together. Kurt put his hand on the crook of of Blaine's elbow and allowed Blaine to lead him to the stairs.

"Oh." Kurt's voice was soft and Blaine followed his line of sight. They were standing under the mistletoe that Kurt had helped Carol hand early in the evening.

"Oh." Blaine mimic Kurt. He had forgotten all about the mistletoe, but now that he was under it with Kurt, he hoped the other man would say something. Hopefully deciding that they should kiss. "We should just..."

"We should kiss each other's cheek." Kurt said, his voice soft and his cheeks a little pink.

Blaine swallowed hard and nodded. Both men leaned forward at the same time, and tuned to kiss the other on the cheek. Neither of the men noticed that they were both turning in the same direction until their lips were touching each other's. They stayed like that for a moment in shock. Blaine was desperately trying not to reach up and cup Kurt's cheek to keep their lips together because he knew how the other boy would react to being kissed by another boy. But he stood still, waiting for Kurt to pull away first because he was not throw away what was freely being given.

They stood their for a minute. Each man taking in the texture of the others lips, and then Kurt pulled away, blushing and ducking his head so he did not have to look Blaine in the eye. Blaine's tongue darted out of his mouth to lick his lips and catch the flavor of Kurt's lips.

"I... I am sorry." Kurt muttered and started up the stairs.


	4. Waking Dream

A/N: I'm aware that this chapter is sort of short, but it was the best stopping place. Maybe I'll post the next chapter in a coupe days, it depends on how real life goes and if I get more written.

Blaine reached out and caught Kurt's elbow. He wanted to tell Kurt that the kiss was wonderful, perfect, the best gift he would ever receive, and Kurt could continue to kiss him anytime he wanted. But he knew that he could not tell Kurt those things, so instead he opened his mouth and said "It was an honest mistake, Kurt. We can pretend it never happened if you wish."

Kurt visibly relaxed. "It really is late and we should get to bed." Blaine nodded and they continued up the stairs.

The next morning, Finn went crashing down the stairs and waking up the entire household. Blaine reluctantly got out of bed when there was a knock on his door. Pulling on the pair of pants he had worn last night and stuffing his nightshirt in, Blaine opened the door. Kurt was standing outside the door and the minute he saw how Blaine was dressed, he flushed.

"Breakfast is ready." Kurt said to the floorboards.

"I will be down in a minute." Blaine's voice was still scratchy from sleep.

"Alright." Kurt smiled and then hurried downstairs before he started to recall how Blaine's lips felt against his.

Oh. Kurt paused on the stairs. Blaine's lips. They had kissed last night. On accident, and Kurt was positive that Blaine had really only meant to kiss his cheek, but Kurt was glad that they had missed. He smiled, pressed his fingers to his lips, and continued down the stairs.

Blaine was in a hurry so he did not spent the time slicking back his hair. He put on a fresh pair of pants, a shirt, and pulled his suspenders onto his shoulders before he went downstairs for breakfast.

Blaine did not look as disheveled as he had when Kurt had knocked on his door this morning, but his hair was not slicked back. Kurt tried not to stare as Blaine sat across from him with his hair in curls. 'He looks so pretty.' Kurt thought as he spooned his porridge into his mouth. 'I just wanna run my fingers through those curls.' Kurt almost blushed at the thought.

After breakfast, they all gathered into the parlor to open gifts. Blaine blushed as he handed out the gifts that his sister had sent for the Hummel family. When he finished handing them out, all of the family members started opening the packets at the same time. Each one of them held a customized handkerchief. 's had an inch wide lace time around the sides. 's and Finn's had a small embroidered pattern around the edge. Kurt's had an elaborate celtic knot pattern around the edge.

Kurt gasped as he inspected the pattern around the edge of the handkerchief. "Your sister made this?"

"She is very accomplished at embroidery."

"Did she not make one for you dear?" asked Blaine.

"I have more handkerchiefs than I know what to do with." Blaine laughed.

"But surely she sent you something."

"The gifts my family sent me are upstairs in my room. I assure you that they are nothing exciting."

The rest of the day was spent in the parlor enjoying each other's company . Blaine and Kurt took turns playing the piano. It was late when the family went to bed even though they all got up early. Blaine shucked his trousers and shirt and fell into bed.

Kurt was dreaming that he was laying in his bed and running his fingers through short, soft, dark hair on a head that is resting on his chest. The man has unbuttoned the last couple buttons of his shirt and has stuck his hand under the fabric and was stroking his bare skin.

"Mmmm." Kurt moaned a little as the man drug his blunt nails across his stomach. "That feels good, Blaine."

He sat up in bed with a jolt. He got up out of bed and was across the hall before he knew what he was doing. Only when he realized that he had been knocking on Blaine's door when it was pulled open and a bleary eyed Blaine was in the door frame. Wearing nothing but his pants open around his hips.

"I am sorry." Kurt whispered and felt his face get hot. "I...I did not..." He took a few breaths to calm himself down. "I am going back to bed." His voice was still shaking.

"Kurt." Blaine whispered. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Kurt nodded and he felt his eyes get watery. "I still should not have woken you up."

"It is fine, Kurt." Blaine moved over in the doorway. "Maybe you should come in and we could talk about it."

Kurt hesitated for a moment and then entered Blaine's room. "I do not know why it was so scary." Kurt went to sit down at the desk.

"What was your nightmare about?" Blaine was pulling a shirt over his head as he asked.

"I was..." Kurt blushed and looked down to the floor. "I was in _bed_ with someone."

Blaine chuckled. "That does not sound like a nightmare, Kurt." Kurt's face turned beat red. "Surely you've had those kind of dreams before." Blaine sounded astonished.

"Yes, but I was not in bed with someone I expected." Kurt's eyes got watery.

"Kurt," Blaine crossed the room and cupped Kurt's chin. "Was it one of those men who give you a hard time?" He did not even think that the younger man could take offense to the question.

"No," Kurt let out a sob. "It was... It was..." He could not get the last work out.

"Kurt." Blaine sounded heartbroken as he dropped to his knees in front of Kurt. "Kurt." He repeated and then not knowing what else to do, Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt firmly on the mouth.

When he pulled away, his eyes were wide with shock. "I am so sorry, Kurt. So sorry. Please."

"Please." Kurt whimpered and grabbed a handful of Blaine's hair. "Do not be sorry. Please do not be. It was you." He leaned forward and kissed Blaine firmly on the mouth. "It was not a nightmare because it was you."

"Kurt." Blaine breathed and leaned forward and gathered Kurt into his arms. He held onto the man for a minute. "I was worried that I had taken advantage or you would not want me the way I want you."

"I do." Kurt buried his face into Blaine's shoulder. "I was so scared." He breathed.

"You do not have to be scared of me, Kurt. I could not hurt you if I tried."

Kurt pulled back and smiled at Blaine. "Thank you."

"You are more than welcome."

"I should let you go back to bed." Kurt made towards the door but Blaine caught his hand.

"You could stay for a bit longer if you would like."

Kurt smiled and went to go sit with Blaine on the bed for just a few minutes. A few minutes was all it took to get Kurt tired and bleary again and Blaine had to guide Kurt across the hall and help into bed. All the while Blaine makes certain that his behavior reflect the gentleman his parents raised him to be.


	5. Letters

A/N: So, I meant to update before this but I haven't really had time to write so my buffer of chapters is getting slimmer and I really don't want to lose all of that. However, I'm done with school at the end of this week and will hopefully have time to write after that. Thank you all for your patience.

Over the next month, nothing of significance changed in between Blaine and Kurt. Sometimes, when they were having lessons and no one else was home Kurt would sit a little closer to Blaine and allow their bodies to touch from shoulder to hip on the piano bench and their fingers would brush over the keys as they played the duet that Kurt was currently learning.

Some nights, Kurt would come to Blaine's room to talk. If Kurt would sit down on the bed, Blaine would sit down at his desk and they would talk. When it was time for Kurt to go to his own room, Blaine would walk him to the door and give him a light kiss on his cheek. Kurt smiled at him and squeezed his hand and wished him a good night.

Blaine wanted to hold Kurt more than anything, but he knew that he had to show Kurt the same respect he would if he had been courting Kurt in the open. Having the door closed while they were alone felt scandalous to Blaine but Kurt felt more comfortable with the door closed. As uncomfortable as it made it Blaine feel, the door remained closed because Blaine would do anything to make Kurt feel good.

Dear Ophelia,

It feels like I am always on edge these days. The news that Mama sends me in her letters and the things the papers are writing. Since has been elected as president it seems that the friction between the North and the South is getting worse. There will most likely be fresh news by the time you get my letter so I will not report what I know. Papa most likely is bringing the paper home every night and reading to the family anyways.

What worries more than the South following through with their threats of succeeding is that most of the young men in town seem almost excited at the prospect of war. However I hope that everything gets sorted and we never have to raise arms against our fellow country men. Finn Hudson seems to be ready to sign his name to any man with army recruitment forms. Kurt tells me that Finn's father was killed at the battle of the Alamos in Texas so I think he is eager to prove that he is just as good of a man as his father is. seems anxious about the whole thing considering with the news of her friends', and , wedding she has been dropping hints that poor Finn does not seem to pick up on. Which means Kurt spends a lot of time rolling his eyes at the two of them.

Speaking of Kurt, things continue to go well for the two of us. He is beyond words. When we are at the piano together and no one else is in the house he presses his body against mine and sometimes I stumble in my playing. Kurt giggles when I do and always seems surprised that he can have that effect on me. I am never mad at him however, because he smiles at me or if he is feeling particularly daring he leans over and kisses me and I just melt.

When we are alone, I do try to be a gentleman but it is very hard with the way Kurt wears his clothes. Sometimes I think if we just laid down on the bed and I held him I would be happy, but I am certain that I would never be able to stop myself before I became too forward and soon just holding him wouldn't be enough. I would want to run my hands under the clothes that he wears and feel his soft skin against the palms of my hands. It would be so easy to make happen late some night when we are alone in my room. Kurt is less concerned with propriety than I am and he could so easily make me forget that I am dearly trying to be a gentleman. I think that is why Kurt always makes sure we meet in my room, though his room is just as convenient, because I always keep a distance between us when we are behind closed doors and there is not so much space to put between us in my room.

I do not think that Kurt would mean for us to go further than kissing, but I do try to treat this as if it were a common courtship, besides the fact that would never let us alone like we are if he were to know the kinds of thoughts I have about his son. Most likely, I would be thrown out of the house. Still, I do not think Kurt knows how little effort on his part it would take to convince me to give him everything he wants. This being said, I don't think Kurt really knows what he wants, besides the sort of things that and sneak off to do when they can and I do not want him to end up in over his head.

Before I get your letter about it, no I have not told Kurt about Sebastian. I am not sure how to tell him for one. We never talk about other men that we have found attractive or if we have had other experiences, mostly because I have a suspicion that Kurt is embarrassed about these people or does not want me to know that I am not his usual type of man. I think that if Kurt described his idea of the perfect specimen of man he would not come up with a man who looks like me. This is not bother me much because no matter what Kurt would design for himself, I have him now and that is all that is important to me.

The other reason I have not taken the trouble, and all he really was was trouble, of bringing up Sebastian in our talks is because I do not want Kurt to feel like we are unequal in our relationship. I do not want to make him feel like he is not giving me something that I want in this relationship. Also, I do not want him to feel poorly about himself. He is perfect just the way he is and perhaps if I told him that about the things I did with Sebastian he would not feel that way.

Also, perhaps, I am just a little afraid of what Kurt would think of me if he knew. I am not proud of what I've done but there is no way for me to take it back. And how I do wish I could take it back, because if I had known I was going to find Kurt I would have waited. I would have let Kurt be my first in everything instead of cheaply giving it away because I was lonely. Letting Kurt know that I am not virtuous scares me more than anything because he might not want me anymore.

You must forgive me, dear sister, for this is a terrible letter. The subject matter is morose and it is poorly written. I fear that the political climate has washed over my mind and I am most horrible to be around. I pray that you forgive me for another horrid letter and I will try very much to make the next one better.

Your loving brother,

Blaine.

Dear Ophelia,

I am writing about your brother. I should not be, as I am sure he believes what I am going to ask you about a private matter, but I am also sure you already know. Blaine writes you to you too often for you not to know.

The problem is that Blaine seems to be uninterested in me beyond holding my hand or letting me sit much to close to him on the piano bench when we are alone. He has not kissed me besides small, chaste kisses on my cheek since we first started courting. Or whatever it is that we are doing, because it certainly isn't courting in the traditional sense of the word.

I do think that Blaine cares for me a great deal, but I am wondering if he has changed his mind about being interested in me romantically. I assure you that I would be fine with whatever he decides, but I had been certain that he really did have an interest in me. It's a little heartbreaking to think that perhaps when he kissed me for the first time he only did it because he thought it would comfort me.

Has Blaine told you about the first time we kissed? I mean really kissed because I do not count the time under the mistletoe, because it was an accident and I prefer to think that Blaine would enjoy kissing me quite a lot if he would only give me a chance to show him.

I understand that Blaine is trying to treat me with respect and act like a gentleman your mother can be proud of, but even Rachel and Finn sneak off to kiss for a little while when they think that no one will notice. Trust me, everyone notices but Carol believes that if she comes chasing after them they will elope. I do not have the choice to elope with Blaine, but if I had I would.

This is the part of my letter that I am going to ask you for your help. I wish to know if there is a way to broach the subject with Blaine without causing unnecessary heartache. Or perhaps you could tell me just a little of what he writes about me in all of those letters of his. I think I would make a very poor spy because I have resorted to asking you for help, but I would much rather have information that is freely given instead of taking it by means of opening Blaine's mail or taking his letters before he sends them.

I am well aware that this is a poor letter and my mother would be turning over in her grave if she knew how poor. I must also send my apologies for using you for information on your brother, but I am unsure of what else to do. There is no one else that I can ask for help without people thinking I have a girl that I am courting in secret and that would cause the heartache I was speaking of earlier. Any help that you could offer would be of great help.

Sincerely,

Kurt.

Dear Blaine,

You are an idiot. Just go and talk to Kurt. I sent this with Mama's letter so I did not need to waste the postage to tell you that. Just talk to Kurt, I'm sure he will understand and perhaps relieved that the two of you are not just fumbling around in the dark trying to figure things out. Someone could get hurt doing that and I have it on good authority that someone getting hurt is one of Kurt's biggest fears. In his last letter the word heartache showed up several times. Now go find Kurt and fix whatever mess you've managed to make this time.

Love,

Ophelia.

Dear Kurt,

I am truly sorry that you have to put up with my brother's stupidity. I hope you know that he does care very deeply for you. In all of his letters you are almost the only thing he can talk about. Please be patient with him.

There is very little I can tell you but that I have told him that he needs to make things right. Hopefully he will not wait too long to do so, he does have a tendency to put things off if he knows that they are going to make him uncomfortable or get him in trouble. I promise you though that it nothing to be upset at. Just listen to what he has to say and please do not get mad at him. As misguided as he is, he does try to be the best man that he can be.

Hopefully all of this is resolved soon and it will be the last I hear of these sorts of problems from either of you. Yes, I am aware that this is wishful thinking on the account that Blaine is much too nice for his own good. However, if you have a piece of him you have all of him. I think the thing that he is worried about most after making you angry with him is making you uncomfortable in anyway. This is just something you two will have to talk about and work out.

Do not worry about the quality of your letter, though it was not the worst that I have read in the last month Blaine is terrible at writing letters, so I am sure your mother will forgive one bad letter.

Ophelia.


	6. Ticket to Ride

Blaine sat in his room thinking his sister's letter over. He knew that tonight after everyone had gone to bed and Kurt came to see him in his room, Blaine would have to talk to Kurt about Sebastian. He was not looking forward to the conversation, but if Kurt was feeling heartbroken Blaine would do everything he could to fix it.

The day is awkward at best, and Kurt barely even touched Blaine during their lesson even though there is no one else in the house. Even Mercedes had left to run errands for the Hummel's and herself. Blaine wanted to tell Kurt everything, right there in the parlor, but he could not risk someone walking in on the middle of the story. If he has his way, Blaine would only have to tell this story once and Kurt would not want to hear much about it.

So they barely acknowledged each other all day and Blaine wondered if Kurt was even going to show up at his door. Blaine figured that he could give Kurt the chance to come before he goes to Kurt, Blaine sits on his bed and reads until there is a soft knock on his door.

"Kurt." He smiled and pulls the other man into an embrace. "I was worried that you would not come."

"Ophelia told me to give you a chance to explain." Kurt said into Blaine's neck.

"Come in, I am afraid it's not a story that you are going to want to hear."

"You are not married are you?" Kurt goes to sit on Blaine's bed, looking positively terrified.

"Of course not." Blaine sits down next to Kurt on the bed and takes his hands. "Do you not think that Ophelia would have told you about that, no matter how much she loves me?"

"I think I am making this worse in my head and perhaps you should just tell me."

"You are not the first boy I have courted." Blaine said softly, not daring to look Kurt in the eye. "Back in New York there was a man named Sebastian and we..."

"Courted." Kurt's voice was quiet and tight.

"I...Are you angry?"

"No." Kurt could hear his voice getting higher. "Just...is that why you will not let me close you you?"

"Kurt, I...Sebastian." Blaine reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. "I am not sure what I should tell you."

Kurt sat up straight. "The truth would be nice."

"Please do not be angry with me. Everything that happened with Sebastian, I wish I could take it back, but I cannot. I care about you very much, Kurt, and I do not want you heartbroken."

"What did you do with this Sebastian?" Kurt whispered.

"If you are asking if my virtue is still intact I am not sure what to tell you." Blaine hung his head and kept his low. "I know I have not done everything with a man that a man can do, but I have done enough." Daring to look up at Kurt's face, Blaine could see the hurt in Kurt's eyes. "I will understand if you would wish to end our... Courtship."

"Is this why you will not touch me? Because you are still in love with this Sebastian and I am just a poor substitute?" Kurt's voice was angry.

"No, Kurt, of course not. Sebastian is nothing to me." Blaine rushed to assure Kurt.

"Then you must think I am a child because I have not had other men to court and to fool around with?" Kurt abruptly stood from the bed and looked down at Blaine, his eyes hard and full of hate. "I think you are a slut." With those final words Kurt stormed from Blaine's room, though he took the care not to slam the door.

Blaine continued to sit on his bed wishing that he had better chosen his words or that he had not spoken at all. It had not been his intention to make Kurt feel poorly about himself and certainly had not wanted to make Kurt feel like a child, and Blaine certainly did not think of Kurt as one, but what hurt the very most is that Kurt had spoken the words that Blaine had been applying to himself since he had been with Sebastian. Slut. That is what he was, letting Sebastian convince him to do those things made him a slut. Blaine was nothing more than a common whore and Kurt deserved so much better.

Certainly Blaine was going to now need to leave Lima and his dreams of being the music teacher there. It would be unbearably awkward staying in the Hummel household with Kurt's ire towards him, but he deserved every bit of it. Once Kurt made his distaste of Blaine known the rest of the Hummel family would fallow suit and soon the entirety of Lima. It was not a big enough town where Blaine thought he could stay after making enemies with one of the best families in town.

Hopefully, Blaine could play ill and stay mostly in his room until he could get a train ticket home without surprising his family. That would take weeks and if Blaine was not going to be teaching Kurt he would not take his pay, and perhaps Burt would grow tired of the piano teacher who was not teaching and ask him to leave. Perhaps Kurt would not mince words about exactly had happened between the two of them and would throw him out.

What would happen after people found out that Blaine preferred the company of men was in the Lord's hands, but it terrified Blaine. That was the sort of news that followed a person and he might not even be safe in New York. Blaine would have a ruined career to go alone with his ruined reputation.

He briefly entertained the idea of joining up when war broke out, as it certainly would. There he could keep his head down and feel as if he were being useful to some cause. If it were God's will that the war end his life, could that really be the worst fate he could suffer? There was nothing left for him in either New York or Lima, Ohio. Not after telling someone in truth the state of his reputation. Then Blaine thought what going to war would do to his poor mother's nerves and he settled on buying a train ticket home and hoping that Kurt would keep quiet about this conversation.

Dear Ophelia,

I am coming home. I am sorry that this letter is so short, but I do not wish to write the entire affair out as it is too fresh in my mind. Also, it is something that might kill our poor mother if she were to find out. Please inform Mama and Papa that I will be soon after you get this letter. I will catch a carriage from the station.

Blaine.

The next morning when Mercedes came to fetch him for breakfast, Blaine complained of a headache and stated that he would be spending the day in bed. As he closed the door and returned to his sleep clothes, Blaine wondered how Kurt would react to the news. He wondered how Kurt would spend his day now that he did not have a piano lesson after breakfast.

Tomorrow, Blaine would go and mail his letter and buy his train ticket. Then he would say goodbye to the little town that he had begun to think of as home. He would even bare 's gossip with grace because she had been extraordinarily kind to him in her own way. Perhaps he would even skip Kurt's piano lesson, because even being in the same room as beautiful, perfect, wonderful Kurt hurt Blaine's heart.

When the next day came, Blaine once again skipped breakfast with a complaint of a headache, but left his room when he knew that he could get out the front door without anyone noticing him. He felt a coward, but there was no way of knowing what Kurt had said, if anything, about him to his family and he would much prefer to miss in any foul mood.

In Lima, Blaine took his time making his way first to the post office and then to the train depot. He took even longer making his way back to the Hummel house. Mrs. Reed stopped to talk to him and he stayed chatting with her for so long that she had asked him if he had a piano lesson with Kurt. Quickly Blaine thought up a lie and smoothed everything over with a smile. He was not sure what he had told her, but he hoped it was nothing tragic enough for her to have to visit the Hummels over it.

Over dinner, Blaine decided that he would tell the Hummels that he was leaving. It was better to tell them and finish out the month that he had been paid for, though that would mean not skipping anymore of his and Kurt's lessons, then return home. A simple lie about them needing him home for work or Ophelia's up coming wedding would worry no one and Blaine could tell Ophelia once he got home so she would ignore any letters that Kurt might send to her concerning the matter. Though he could only hope that Kurt's hatred of Blaine spilled over to his family and he would refrain from writing Ophelia any more letters at all.

"I am glad to see you are feeling better, Blaine." smiled as Blaine came into the parlor before dinner.

"The fresh air seems to have cleared my headache right up." Blaine smiled at her tucking an old letter from his mother into his pocket for them to see. None of this could be done by half if he were to leave the Hummels with no questions after his departure.

"I did notice you skipped our lesson today." Kurt did not even look up from whatever it was he was reading.

"Oh, leave him alone. He was ill, but we are glad you are better now." smiled at Blaine again.

"Thought we were going to have to get the doctor come revive you." said with a chuckle.

"Only a headache, but I am feeling better."

At the table, Blaine spent his time trying to figure out how to bring up his leaving. Thankfully, seemed to make the segue for him by asking him what news of home his mother's letter contained.

"I was actually going to talk to you about it after dinner, but now seems as good of time as any." Blaine shifted in his seat. "I am afraid that I must leave for New York at the end of the month. My family needs me home, but I will finish out the month."

"If it is an emergency, you may leave as soon as you need. None of would blame you." looked terribly worried.

"It is nothing urgent, I assure you. Just a family matter that I should be present for."

"Is your sister getting married?" asked. "You had mentioned that she was being courted."

Blaine smiled. "It appears so, and I would very much like to be home for the wedding."

Kurt muttered something that Blaine could not hear, but gave him a scandalized look and admonished him for being in such a foul mood.

"There is no reason to take it out on ." tells his son.

The next day was worse than the one before it as Blaine was now feeling better and had to come down for breakfast. Also, he could not skip Kurt's lesson as he had the day before as much as he wanted to. To make matters worse, the house was empty as the two of them sat down at the piano.

In no mood to play the duet they had been working on before their ugly end, Blaine searched for a hymn as Kurt played through his warm ups. While Kurt stumbled his way through, Blaine paced the room giving his advice from anywhere but the piano bench.

Kurt was obviously becoming frustrated with the lack of help from his teacher and finally he slammed his hands down on the keys. "You should not let your work suffer just because you are a slut." He snapped and Blaine stopped his pacing.

Standing as still as he could for a minute with his eyes closed, Blaine willed away his tears. "I think that is enough for today, we will continue on the hymn tomorrow." Blaine whispered and headed for the stairs.

To his great shame, as Blaine passed through the hall he noticed Mercedes standing there, most likely coming to tell them that lunch was ready. He could only shake his head and make his way up the stairs.

" , you should not be so awful to ." He could hear Mercedes say as she entered the parlor.

"I am only telling the truth."

That night Mercedes brings Blaine dinner in his room and tells him that she told the Hummels that Blaine had another headache. She smiled at him as she set down the tray and asked if he would need anything else that night.

"No, thank you, . It was sweet of you to bring me my supper."

"Kurt should not have spoken to you that way, but he gets so angry sometimes. I think he is having a hard time with some of the other men in town. Not that that gives him an excuse, but I hope you understand that it is not you he is really angry at. You just happen to be the person he knows is easiest to hurt. Finn was his target before you came."

"Thank you, ." Blaine smiles as she leaves the room and pulls the door softly closed behind her.

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I really am trying to get better at this.


End file.
